People-pleasing can be defeating habit in a person's life simply because people-pleasers don't get what they want out of life.It's time to find out that its ok to be selfish sometimes.
I have a little trouble saying "NO" once in a while.However putting the needs of others above my own can go from being a noble deed to a true problem.Peer pressure is a common reson that i feel the need to please others.The first step to regaining control of your life is to learn how to say "NO" to other and stand up for myself.
Hmm...do you know what is PEOPLE-PLEASING?? blur?? okay here you go..
It involves thinking of other people's need before your own, worrying about what other people want, think, or need, and spending a lot of time doing things for others. People pleasers rarely do things for themselves - and when they do, they are wracked with guilt.
I always,
- I try to be who someone wants me to be.
- It is hard for me to know what i want.
- I avoid speaking in mind.
- I find it easier to go along with what someone wants or with their opinion.
- It is hard for me to express my feelings when they are different from someone I'm close to.
- It is difficult for me to say "No" and i feel terrible when i do.
- I do not let myself get angry - with friends.
- I try to be nice rather than expressing how i really feel.
- I want everyone to get along, regardless of what i have to do to make it happen.
"Constantly trying to please other people is draining, and many people-pleasers feel anxious, worried, unhappy and tired a lot of the time .They may not understand why no one does anything for them when they do so much for others-but they often won't ask for what they need" YES, I do..
And the effects were,
- low self-esteem and depression
- loss of personal identity
- being taken advantage
- immobilised by irrational beliefs
- extreme guilt
- loss of self-appreciation
- inability o accept kindness from others
- lack of trust in others
- insecurity in interracting with others
- inability to make a decision without any tense
I have one question.. stil puzzeling in my mind.. It is OKAY to be selfish?
oh please get out of my life..~
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